Last year, Headmaster of The Heights, Mr. Alvaro de Vicente, gave the first of our Heights Lecture Series events. His talk, presented to a standing-room only audience and available here in near-complete form, was titled: “Communicating a Positive View of Human Sexuality: Clarifying the Confusion.”
We encourage you to listen to this, start to finish. As our headmaster says (and, to paraphrase):
“communicating a view of sexuality will happen regardless of what you do. If your decision is to wait until you think you are ready to communicate your view, you are not waiting to communicate. You are, instead, foregoing being a participant in the communication and you are allowing others to communicate for you. Who those people and forces are depends on your son’s situation. It may be the school, it may be the market, it may be society (TV, music), in some cases it will be friends. In a sense, your son is on a moving walkway, and the moving walkway has forks. The longer you, as a parent, wait, the longer your son is going to go in whatever direction the moving walkway takes him. Furthermore, the moving walkway has a name which is, ‘society around your son.’ So every day that you decide to wait, is a day in which you are comfortable allowing society to tell your son what sexuality is, what his role is, and how he should relate to women.”
Mr. de Vicente provides great guidance on, among other things, how to manage screens, how to cultivate a boy’s moral imagination, and the timing behind those critical conversations with your boy. It doesn’t have to be an awkward “talk.” It can be a meaningful and ongoing conversation if you play your cards right.
Enjoy the recording, and, if you would like more info on Mr. de Vicente’s three rules for dating, you know where to find him—in front of The Heights at 8am Tuesday-Friday, rain or shine. Our apologies for the recording device cutting off, but if this leads to follow-up conversations, we’ll call it a victory!
We also take this opportunity to highlight an essay recently released by Mr. Michael Moynihan titled, “The Father’s Role in Transmitting Principles of Morality.” It is a great piece on sharing human sexuality with your sons, and, yes, on a father’s particular role therein:
A father’s authority to teach is intimately connected to his living example as the father of his children and the husband of his wife, the children’s mother. Simply because he is the father, his sons naturally look to him as a role model for the proper treatment of women, imitating how he cares for their mother and sisters. The father has a privileged position from which he can teach his sons about God’s plan for human sexuality and fruitfulness, unfolding this topic in its proper context and full dimension. This is an area where it is simply not possible for a school to adequately assume the father’s role.
We are partners in a great educational conspiracy: we the teachers, supporting you, the primary educators, in the cultivation of the good of the boy. We hope these resources are helpful!